I started writing this post several weeks ago, but it did not feel complete. A part of my mind and my will was in one place, while my emotions and thoughts in another place. I soon realize that I was like Elijah the prophet at the point where he was still waking up to eat and falling back asleep. I still did not have enough energy to move forward.
Has anyone ever felt like Elijah in 1 Kings 19? Alone, abandoned, fearful and depressed. And it’s not that you don’t have faith, but the emotions are deeper than the thoughts of success. These emotions seem to pour out from the blood, muscles, and bones. Mentally exhausted to the point where one does not even want to wake up, yet they can’t sleep in peace. They are hungry but have no appetite, they do what they must do, say what need to be said. They have faith for everyone else but when it comes to themselves, they are empty.
Have you ever been at such a place? Where do you go when you feel trapped? Who do you turn to when it seems no one understands? How do you pray when you can’t even find the words?
In 1 Kings 19: 1 to 8 we see where the great prophet Elijah was going through a period of what looks like depression and defeat. Even though just a few days before, he called down fire from heaven and destroyed several hundred baal prophets. Now he was being chased by the evilest woman at that time and his life hung in the balance, after all he was still human.
I can only imagine the crash that he may have felt coming down from such a high. He was probably running on pure adrenaline and after the high he came crashing. Flesh and blood with a broken spirit. Can you imagine how it probably would have felt for him to stand alone in front of 600 dead baal prophets. He probably felt alone like no one understands. Probably he was thinking, it doesn’t even make any sense I open my mouth because even I don’t understand what is happening, how can I explain it for someone else to understand.
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverb 17:22 (ESV).
If we are ever at such a place in our own lives, that’s where relationships come in, and I am not talking about superficial relationship. I am talking about those friends who act like the angel of God or the raven that carried food to Elijah. They are there to encourage, not saying much, not asking much, just nourishing you in a way to sustain you until you find the strength to stand again.
It’s important to cease the quiet moments and ask the big questions like; what am I doing here? Many of us fill our lives with so many things to keep us ‘high’, work, family, studies, art, music, reading etc. Then something happens to stop the noise and in the quiet we crash. The walls we have built comes crumbling around us. Our vulnerability is open for everyone to see. This can cause more harm than good if we are not prepared to be honest about what we truly feel or fear.
I pray like Elijah that in the silence we will be able to hear the whispers of God’s voice. He is always there; He always understands, and we don’t need to see him or feel him. The fact that the silence did not drive you crazy, the fact that the walls that came crashing down did not crush you, the fact that after the storm you are still standing even if you were pushed a few feet back, that means he was there and still is there.
When Elijah made it to the mountain after travelling for forty day and nights, The LORD asked him What are you doing here, Elijah? (1 Kings 19:8 NLT). For me in fear and anger I would probably say or think, ‘you called me here; didn’t you send your angel with a message to me? What kind of question is that, maybe I should be asking you what I am doing here!’ or probably respond ‘I don’t know what I am doing here’. These responses are not honest, they do not tell what is happening in the heart.
But Elijah was honest in his response, maybe while walking those forty days and night he reflected over everything and calmed down a bit. He responded:
Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”
1 kings 19:10 (NLT)
Is God asking you, what are you doing here? Is he telling you to go to someone or somewhere. Is he saying ‘there is a safe space that I have created for you. A place where you can find peace and rest for your soul. Where you can lay all your burdens down’. Can you find that place at the feet of the cross. The cross is the sign that God had overcome for all for us. The empty tomb is the sign that God is always with us.
I do not believe that God will give us more than we can bare. I do not believe that God will cause our suffering to be the end of us. Even in suffering there are many lessons to learn. Paul said he had a thorn in his flesh, that he prayed for God to remove, 3 times he prayed and 3 times God told him no. Because in Pauls weakness God was made more powerful in His life as Paul had to be completely dependent on Him.
Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.!
Corinthians 12: 8: 10 (NLT).
Keep trusting God and believe that your dessert times will pass, accept His power, and know that there is no failure over you! There is no failure over me!
Read 1 kings 19
The Face Behind the Window 